What makes being in love easier? Living in the now would make it a lot more easier. But what if it is a natural thing to have expectations of your partner or the people around you? You will facing disappointments when you find out your way of thinking or your future ideals doesn’t match with theirs. It’s a big paradox of having expectations that comes along with disappointments versus no expectations and living in the now and just enjoy the moment as how it comes. I still can’t manage to respect the now as it is without thinking about the future. But I do know people who can and are actually happy by enjoying that little moment of love and fun that it brings.
To be honest it’s a big challenge for me to enjoy the moment I have with people around me. Everything I deal with expectations that originate from myself of others. I think others have it too but it’s difficult to admit that we have them. It makes us in some way dependable and weak. Of course it is a strong thing to say to people like I do not need others and if certain things don’t happen it is oke. BUT in reality it doesn’t feel like that unfortunately. In buddhism there is this common quote..
” you have to be able to let go what you love ”
They say you should not be attached to material, people nor certain expectations. So you will not be disappointed and thereby create are more happier life.
We people are having a difficult time to manage with our own inner pain. Instead of analysing where this pain comes from we try to ignore it and hide it behind doors. Thus not mindfull in this situation. We could manage this issue by being aware about our inner pain. This relates to the old patterns that make their comeback everytime when we not solve and process our passed problems. Instead of this we create expectations because we don’t want to deal with our own problems, our inner pain. Other people should deal with it and make adjustments with us self. We are often stuck with our old pattern behaviors from our past that keeps us having expectations. Too bad because this will always makes us unhappy. Every little related issue could make the recall from our past and makes us respond the same way we are used to do to that specific problem. Therefore a beautiful relationship can break or friendships will end sooner when it is totally not necessary that this should happen. And still after writing this I cannot convince myself of letting things go. It will always be a challenge for me and it will be something I have to work on everyday.
But anyways, it is a good thing to be aware of at least. So we could try to be step by step not disappointment and happy. Life is a big paradox. Being in love is such a nice beautiful thing but also comes with having the risk of losing that love. The same goes with achievements in career. The higher the results the more pressure you will have for keep going the good work and the more in control you want to be. Which will have disastrous consequences. We all know that losing something in any aspects can hurt a lot. Thats why we have to learn to let go what we fear the most, losing love or failing the job. Lets not have expectations of ‘having’. Let us just be what we are and have what we have in our hands now..
Way of life.blogspot 